Is this life really worth it
to do one’s duty and one’s bit?
For every candle that is lit
I have a sin or two to commit.
Is this the way to paradise
or should I think about it twice?
I will not act on your advice,
against all odds I’ll roll my dice.
Is this the verse where truth abides?
Consider this from all the sides.
Whom to trust when no one guides
your body where your spirit hides.
Is this the voice of reason speaking?
I do not hear it, my heart is beating.
New whims and fancies I am seeking
beyond all sense and all meaning.
Is this the end my beloved friend?
Please do not answer, just pretend.
My hand to you I will extend,
on no one else I can depend.
If you ever feel depressed,
read a book or take a rest.
Get this feeling off your chest
before it plants a seed or nest.
If you ever feel weak or helpless
and there is no one near to address,
then take a moment to access
the gift of your awareness.
If you ever feel that no one knows
how life on this Earth arose,
then walk your path as far it goes
and never dare to bring it close.
If you ever feel that no one cares
about your private yet grand affairs,
then show your mien and lofty airs
through the flow of your quiet tears.
If you ever feel that god has fled,
rejoice and sing for he is dead.
Forget the tears that you have shed.
Now’s your chance to get ahead.
My only candle I have blown,
in darkness now I sit alone.
There are no sins to atone,
I reap the seeds that I have sown.
My only truth I have lost,
these thoughts I now reduce to dust.
From all the love and all the trust
I turn away now in disgust.
My only life I have flushed,
in misery I sit now crushed.
I sleep in filth and loathsome ash,
my greatest hopes were cruelly dashed.
My only mirror I have broken,
I sit now with my eyes wide open.
That dreadful silence has surely spoken
and all the ghosts have now awoken.
My only flower I have cut
and every door I have shut.
I sit now in my rotten hut
and ask myself to live or not.
All the secrets I have seen,
in every corner I have been.
Every thought – good or mean,
and every image in between.
All the poor and splendid places,
All the sad and happy faces.
All the roads and hidden traces,
All this and more my soul embraces.
All the flavors I have tasted,
All the love and all the hatred.
So many hours I have wasted
to know all this – made or created.
All the joyful states and fears,
All the laughter, smiles and tears.
From all these deeds and histories
I have gained my expertise.
All the mouths I have kissed,
nothing I have ever missed.
From every table I have eaten
and every fear I have beaten.
All the gods I have drowned,
no other idol I have crowned.
Every truth I have owned
and every sinner I have stoned.
In all these images I have seen
I’ve never found one human being.
No filthy beast or a vile machine
could be so lost or so obscene.
Let me drink my cup of wine
and throw my pearls before the swine.
All these evil deeds of mine
will greatly please the Divine.
Let me worship little devils
and get my pleasures and my thrills.
I will run through seas and hills
in search for shudders and lovely chills.
Let me deny the holy ghost
drink my wine and propose a toast:
Let’s raise our glasses to our host,
these evil thoughts we fear the most.
Let me say this one more time
my hands are clean, I’ve done no crime.
I do not care a single dime
about the truth and the sublime.
Let me add just one more thing
there is no light a night could bring.
Into the world I have to swing
not step by step but at one full fling.
How many days I still have left
before the silent bells loudly ring.
From all last hopes I am bereft
I hear the angels already sing.
How many nights will I spend
before the sun melts in my hand.
To common sense I will not bend,
For liberty I’ll make my stand.
How many words I still will say
behind the clouds and weeping rain.
All these thoughts will go away
leaving everything in vain.
How many breaths will I take
before it all will abruptly end.
Will I die or will I awake,
who can tell, who apprehend.
And all this has come to pass
All days, nights, words and breaths.
Too few shadows I have cast
to meet so many senseless deaths.
The greatest thoughts I ever had
were the ones I never clad
in shadows, gold, love or fad.
I never wore them, might I add.
The greatest soul I ever met
was the one I would forget.
I saw it only as a threat
to my wisdom, as of yet.
The greatest verse I ever wrote
was the one I couldn’t note.
It had no sense to denote,
it felt so strange and so remote.
The greatest story I ever heard
was the one without a word.
These silent gaps and lines so blurred,
so magnificent and so absurd.
The greatest books I ever read
were the ones from authors – dead.
I could not wrap around my head
what all their words had left unsaid.