Monthly Archives: November 2013

My heart is hard and I do not care

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When I was young,
my hopes were high and my dreams were big,
my blood was hot and boiling,
and the weather outside was shiny and bright.
The world seemed splendid and nice,
and the future as golden as face of the sun.
But as time passed by,
my hopes vanished as dust and smoke.
All that was sacred and beautiful before,
now died cold and alone.
My thirst for wisdom and glory
remained empty and vain.
The godly images became gloomy and pale,
as no seed sown in faith
brought forth a berry,
only weeds were left.
And now I despise the worldly things,
because I see that all is nightmare and trifle.
Whether it’s happiness or misery, sorrows or joys,
my heart is hard and I do not care.

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I do not exist

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My worms and vermins
My beetles and flies
My microbes and parasites
My dear cockroaches
Today I give you a new set of commandements
Hear me out and share the good news
We begin with the tenth and end with the first
-Do not ask me for favors
-Do not call upon me
Your prayers are in vain
I have no ears and I do not listen
-Do not search for me
-Do not follow me
My home is a labyrinth
I hide from your antennas and escape from your satellites
-Do not worship me
-Do not prostrate yourself before me
I have no eyes and I cannot see you
I have no heart, no feelings, neither body nor mind
-Do not ask me for help
-Do not beg for mercy
-Do not hope for miracles to happen
I ignore your lamentations and disdain your tears
I will squash your dreams and crush your ambitions
-Do not call me your God,
I have no name
Leave me alone
I do not exist

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What is life, anyway?*

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What is life, anyway? For that is a practical question. What is it that we should prize it so highly? Do any of you dare tell the truth to yourselves? There is not a person in this audience that dares tell himself the truth about life. Do you remember the story- I believe it came from Homer- about some shipwrecked mariners who were cast upon an island. And, in that island was a great giant with one eye, and that eye had been put out. But, somehow or other, he managed to get all these people into an iron cage, and; every morning he would come out for breakfast, run his arms into the iron cage and feel this one and that one to see which was the fattest, take him off and cook him for breakfast. No one knew whose turn would come next. Each one knew that his time was near, that he might be next. That is life, isn’t it? A great insane, purposeless, uncontrolled, uncontrollable, hand, reaching down, without though or design or pity, taking this and that, as the case may be, inevitable, unfailingly, and yet we are optimists! Do you want to live your lives over, any of you! Would I want to? Would anybody want to? There might be vagrant parts of my life, strong sensations, pleasant memories. But barring those, the time I would want to live over, would be the time I was asleep- that is the time I was dead- that is all. And every weary person comes home at night happy in the thought that he can sleep. And if he cannot sleep without it, he takes dope to make him sleep, because forgetfulness is the best of all. Continue reading

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I want to be happy like a Jew in the concentration camp

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I want to be happy like a Jew in the concentration camp and miserable like a kid in a candy store.
I want to be joyful like a mother who morns the loss of her son and sad like a child who’s playing in the sandbox.
I want to be free like a fly in a spider’s web and oppressed as a light in the day.
I want to be good like serpent and evil like Eve. Continue reading

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