I never found the middle way

I never found the middle way
but always maintained a balance.
I never had anything to say
but always took a stance.

I never spent a night or day
in happiness or under stress.
I never felt sad or gay,
being more or doing less.

I never went to church or mosque
but always lived in little hells.
I never found what I lost
nor in deserts, springs or wells.

I never wanted to be misunderstood
and even less to be understood.
I think I could but never would
to understand the misunderstood.

I never smiled in open air
but always wept in secret.
I never had a word to share
but always plenty to regret.