A hundred more thoughts about God, theology and theologians

ecce-homo botero

1. God loved the world so much that he decided not to exist.
2. The most well-know God is the unknown God.
3. Belief in God is a sin against reason.
4. The temptation to believe in God comes from the Devil.
5. God is never blamed for not arriving in time.
6. To feel important and indispensable, attach your life to God.
7. Small minds believe in God, genius believes in himself.
8. God is not your Shepherd even though you may feel like his holy lamb.
9. It is the thought about God that appeals to Man, not God himself.
10. God is an unfulfilled promise, a promise of a better life.
11. If you are happy because you believe in God, you do not really believe in God.
12. The word of God is human folklore and poetry.
13. Once you believe in God everything seems possible except the non-existence of God.
14. Congregation should believe in the pastor, so that the pastor may lose his faith in God.
15. Theologians think that their task is to remind other people that God exist, when, in fact, other people’s task is to remind theologians that God does not exist.
16. Theologians imagine that God exists and then live as if he doesn’t exist.
17. God exists in the believer’s imagination as do unicorns, tooth-fairies and ghosts.
18. God is an objectified imagination, an instrumentalized fantasy.
19. Bible is a kind of ghost story.
20. God is being hunted not by theologians but by atheists.
21. To become wise you should avoid theologians.
22. If gods existed, humans would not.
23. The task of a theologian is to create a need for god.
24. To prove a theologian wrong, you should accept that he is right.
25. All attributes of God are human.
26. Nothing points to God. Everything points to you.
27. If God would exist, he would not be God.
28. If God would be God, he would not exist.
29. God is always a memory. An old habit of the past.
30. Even when translated in your native tongue theologians speak a foreign language.
31. If a theologian would refrain himself from uttering the word “God”, he could pass for a humanist.
32. To starve a theologian you should feed him gods.
33. Theologian eats flesh, not gods.
34. Theologians constantly forget that God does not exist. Remind them! Wake them up!
35. God exist for theologians so that theologians can exist in the world.
36. To experience god you should first believe in him.
37. Experience of God is just another kind of belief.
38. There is a reason why gods never communicate with atheists.
39. The mission of the church is to dismantle itself. Atheism is the way forward.
40. Atheism is the grace of God. Embrace it!
41. Believing in the existence of God is a peculiar way of letting other people know that you too exist.
42. You have to pay with your reason if you want to believe in God.
43. Ignorance is the price for believing in God.
44. Abraham didn’t sacrifice his son at the command of God, he sacrificed his reason.
45. Revelations of God are the unacknowledged beliefs of a theologian.
46. Theologians speak in riddles, puzzles and parables, because they have no facts.

47. Since God does not exist, he appears as nonexistent, non-observable and non-verifiable.
48. If God exists he is very careful to create an impression that he does not exist.
49. There is no difference between the existence and non-existence of God.
50. Possible evidence for the existence of God would prove his non-existence.
51. As long as there is no evidence for the existence of God theologians will maintain their belief in him.
52. If the existence of God would be scientifically proved, theologians would become atheists.
53. One cannot disprove something that does not exist.
54. Silence is the language of gods. Theologians never master it fully.
55. God is the opposite side of reason.
56. Search for God presupposes his non-existence.
57. If the doubting Thomas had inspected the wounds of a resurrected Christ, he would have become an atheist.
58. Jesus died as an atheist.
59. God exits the conversation as soon as a theologian enters the room.
60. Theologians think that you can accumulate knowledge by believing in God.
61. The interesting question is not what a theologian believes but what he knows?
62. Gods are used by theologians as explanations for humanity.
63. Theologians explain the world by referring to gods.
64. God is not an explanation. God should be explained before he can be used as an explanation.
65. If science can’t explain something, God is of no help either. God is to be found in the gaps of knowledge.
66. Theologians are the ultimate gap seekers, scientists – gap closers.
67. The principle of reduction is to science what the principle of exaggeration is to theology.
68. Theology is a justification for the need of having imaginary friends.
69. To combine science with God you need a theologian.
70. Science in the hands of a theologian becomes theology.
71. Theologians use science to promote theology.
72. In every mystery hides a theologian.
73. Theologian’s biggest nightmare is a world without mysteries.
74. The difference between theology and science is that science knows how to close the doors of imagination, theology – does not.
75. Theologians use their imagination to navigate in the world.
76. Don Quixote would be a wonderful theologian.
77. The problem of a theologian is how to live in a modern world without compromising one’s medieval beliefs.
78. The only way to cling to God in a modern world is to let go of him.
79. Theologians have skipped the Age of Enlightenment. They still live in the Middle Ages.
80. The next crusade will be fought against theologians.
81. Theologians think that they know more than scientists because they believe in God.
82. Theologians hide their ignorance behind God.
83. Belief in God requires a belief in theologians.
84. There are no differences between various religions. All are irrational.
85. Theologians allow the existence of other deities at the expense of their own.
86. Theologians try to prove the existence of their God by acknowledging the existence of a different God.
87. Brothers of faith are enemies of reason.
88. Theologians are infected with God. It is a disease of the mind.
89. Theologians think that by believing in God, God becomes real. To a theologian belief in God amounts to the existence of God.
90. Theologians are idealists who believe that ideas create reality. They want to create their reality by believing in God.
91. An idea about God can change one’s life, not God.
92. If no one would believe in God, would she still exist?
93. Theology has been disqualified by science. Theory of evolution invalidates all gods and every religion by default. Hence theologians try to accommodate their beliefs to it.
94. There is no reason to listen to theologians except for the purposes of entertainment. Theologians are comedians and jesters.
95. Each sermon is a new obituary to God.
96. The second coming of Christ would be God’s first appearance.
97. The Resurrection of body is the death of mind.
98. Theologians are children who are being mistaken for adults.
99.  In the light of reason God evaporates.
100. Truth is the exact opposite of what a theologian says.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “A hundred more thoughts about God, theology and theologians

  1. So you believe you came from an ape? You’re still alive so God’s still waiting on you to see.

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