I’ve been reading Steven Pinker’s “How the Mind Works”. On the page 53 I found this quote that strung a note in my system. I would like to share this gem with you all:
Well into my procreating years I am, so far, voluntarily childless, having squandered my biological resources reading and writing, doing research, helping out friends and students, and jogging in circles, ignoring the solemn imperative to spread my genes. By Darwininan standards I am a horrible mistake, a pathetic loser, not one iota less than if I were a card-carrying member of Queer Nation. But I am happy to be that way, and if my genes don’t like it, they can go jump in the lake.
So, there it is. The long awaited formula of success. If you want to follow the example of Prof. Pinker and join his weird tribe of pathetic losers, brush up your reading habits and write a bulky book or two of at least 500 plus pages (the more, the better!). Here are a few tips for the possible book titles you should consider (inspired by Prof. Pinker’s dazzling hairstyle) – “The Worst Demons of Our Color: Why Harmony Prevails”, “Ether of quirks: An Insight into the Clouds”, “The Silent Anarchy: The Ingredients of an Intelectual Soup”, “The Instinct of Balderdash: How Yellow Bananas Secretly Laugh Behind Our Backs”, “Ignorance and substance: The destruction of a fellow academic”, “The Invisible Hallucination: How the Ghost of Noam Chomsky Speaks in Grammatically Correct and Complete Sentences”, “The Naked Charisma: Mirorr Training 101”.
Once you have written a couple of those bestsellers and have earned a fair share of global attention and received a majuscule bounty for your efforts at practicing loserdom, you are encouraged to further rely on Prof. Pinker’s witty advice. Having deep pockets stuffed with intellectual brilliance and rocking a mountain of hair which has actually become an extension of your brain, may not be enough to secure the low Darwinian rating you so strive for. Therefore, remember to run amok once in a while and jog in circles as these kinetic activities perhaps contain the missing link and the last peace of the puzzle you have been searching for. Finally, to fortify your success, you may want to join the Queer Nation and wear a t-shirt with a frontal inscription carved in golden letters: “We’re here. We’re queer. Get used to it.”
If, for some odd reason, this expert advice falls on thorny ground, there always remains a refreshing and, might I add, tempting option of jumping in the lake or a bubble bath, if this makes any difference. The path of escape from the dryness runs through water. Who would have thought!
P.S. I hope I am not offending anyone with this post and especially not the magnificent bush on Steven Pinker’s scalp.